Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Nearly Everything Takes Longer Than You Think It Will ~ A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

{Last fall, my husband and I began building our own home. I also started this blog series as I noticed so many parallels between physically building a house and our work as wives and mothers in building our families. Links to prior posts are at the bottom.}

One thing I didn’t anticipate when we decided to build our own home was the constant questioning.

“When will you be done?”

I know we are a curiosity. Not many people choose to be the designer, builder, and general contractor for their home. And I know that many people want us to be in it already because they are thoughtful and considerate and they want us to be able to enjoy it as soon as possible. I appreciate that. J

But I’m finding it more and more difficult to explain the time involved. 

When a builder builds a house, he has all of his subcontractors lined up. All of those subcontractors have their own crews lined up. Each crew knows who does what job and what tools and materials they will need.

My husband is pretty handy, and he likes designing and working with his hands. But he hasn’t ever worked construction and isn’t an expert. So, not only does he need to figure out what materials and tools he’ll need for a particular job, but he also needs to learn how to do it right.

Let me give you an example.

If we hired a crew to do the finishing work for us, one of their tasks would be to nail the baseboard. They’ve done that hundreds of times already, so they would know exactly where to place it, how to measure the height, what type of nailer and nails to use.

As my husband was preparing to do our baseboard, we discovered we needed to call the carpet installer. We didn’t know from experience how much space to allow for the pad and carpet. We figured that out and moved on to the actual installation, but he quickly realized he didn’t have the right size nailer. He has a framing nailer (too big for baseboard) and a finishing nailer (too small). So, another trip to Menards and two hours later, we’re ready to go. Whew!

But what about in our families?

Let me give you another example.

As my first (now 14 years old) approached age two, I looked around at my friends and their babies and I read a couple of books and I decided it was time to potty-train. {Veteran moms, stop laughing. You know you did this, too. J} I talked with my toddler until I was blue in the face. I watched videos with her until I knew all the songs by heart. I filled two candy jars for her – one with M&Ms and one with Tootsie Rolls. {Yeah, symbolism. J}

But, I made zero progress for an entire year. That’s right. Zip.

That child, and every other child after her, has refused to have anything to do with the potty until at least age three.

What could I do but keep trying, keep encouraging, keep loving?

It happened eventually {obviously! J}, and all was well.

Nearly everything takes longer than you think it will. Have patience, Mom, and keep the faith!

What are you working on right now that is taking longer than you expected? How are you handling it?

Other posts in this series ~

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Photobucket Wise-Woman-Builds Our Simple Country Life Photobucket Missional Women

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  1. Fun post! :) ... I sympathize(empathize!) with your building questions, issues and child training.... so many things to keep track of. :) Oh, how easy it is to stress out about things that time will take care of... and the questions and comments from others can drive a person nuts! I remember being pregnant w/ one of my children - it SEEMED like I was pregnant for about 12 months rather than the usual 9!!! especially when the cashier at the grocery store began commenting every week.... "You're STILL pregnant?" "Aren't you going to have that baby soon?" "It's about time, isn't it?" "How long have you been pregnant anyway?" "Seems like you're never going to have that baby!" etc. I started to cringe every time I went into the store! But eventually, I really did have that baby... and what a blessing he was/is. :) I can laugh about it now, but I didn't laugh about it much then. :)

    1. In hind sight, it is funny, isn't it? I've been long overdue with all of my babies. The youngest was finally induced when he was 13 days late! I got all of those comments as well, but I soon realized that (most) people were just concerned and interested.

      I hope I didn't come across as complaining. I didn't intend that at all. I've just noticed that patience is a necessary part of just about every aspect of life and wanted to encourage others (as well as myself) that this, too, shall pass. :-)

    2. I didn't see you as complaining - just real - we, as moms, do have a lot to deal with and it can be quite difficult.... but I didn't see your words as complaining - just something we can identify with. :)

  2. To answer your question, I immediately wanted to say, "I'm working on growing fruit in my life." But a branch that abides in the vine WILL grow I'm working on abiding in the Vine. And what a joy that is. I handle it by reading the Word, singing his praises, and remembering to pray without ceasing. In acknowledging the lover of my soul, and keeping myself on the potter's wheel, I'm having the time of my life. He has truly given me the abundant life. Now, let's see, what was the question? O yeah, how soon before the house is done?

    1. What a wonderful comment, Debbie! Thank you so much for taking the time to share that bit of encouragement! Abiding -- a wonderful goal. Do you think one is ever done working on abiding, or is it a lifelong endeavor?

      Our building permit expires in July, and our goal is to have a Certificate of Occupancy by then so we don't have to pay the fee to renew it. Praying and working hard! :-)

  3. You are a dear. My last question was tongue-in-cheek because of your post...I was just ribbing you a bit, and then you take it with all patience! "Someone" has been abiding in the Vine! And the work (fight) that we do to abide in the Vine, as far as I understand, as well as from experience, is a daily, moment-by-moment dying to self, walk of obedience, confessing and turning from sin, and developing that sweet relationship with God.

    On another note, wanted to make sure you saw that I took your suggestion and read "All My Belongings" and loved it. Now I'm reading "When the Morning Glory Blooms." I'd never heard of Cynthia Ruchti. Thank you so much for introducing her to me.

  4. You are so right. Everything takes longer than you think. I enjoyed taking a peek into your new home and love the spiritual lesson.


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