Wednesday, June 6, 2012

To Submit or Not to Submit: Is there really a question? {Part Two}

At the beginning of this series, I posted a question which presented a scenario of a husband asking a wife to pick up some motor oil and air filters while she was out on errands.

My husband began changing the oil on our vehicles as a money-saving practice. At first, he always went to pick up the supplies. But since he, at that time, was working a more-than-full-time job and I was doing the shopping with the children during the day, he eventually asked me to buy the oil and filters.


My response was to question why he couldn’t do it himself. The automotive department felt weird for me. I really didn’t want to go in there, struggle to find what he needed, have some greasy employee ask me if I needed help….well, you get the idea. {Of course, I didn’t throw the paper wad at him – what kind of person do you think I am? J}

After some struggle, he gave me the exact information I needed, and I ventured forth.

I did have an encounter with a greasy employee, but, in the end, I left the store with the right oil…and the wrong filter. At least I got an A for effort.

What I learned in the automotive aisle was that when my husband asks me to do something, I should do it. As I said in Part One, I love him, and I want to please him. {Caveat: This does not apply to something that is illegal, immoral, or is contrary to God’s Word. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church, with a servant heart. Although that subject could take another week of blog posts, it has been touched on in the comments.}

About this time, a friend from church began passing around Debi Pearl’s book Created to be His Help-Meet. Then she wanted to get the ladies together for a book discussion. I groaned. I thought I had learned all this already.

But, in addition to Scripture, Debi pointed out another terrific reason for submission. Submission releases us, the wives, from responsibility. Now this was something I could chew on! I have enough pressure already, as I’m sure you do. Cooking nutritious meals and making sure the children eat them; laundry for the family; keeping a house clean and orderly; homeschooling; maintaining the financial records; keeping a blog going as well as other writing projects. If you are employed outside the home, add that into the pressure cooker. But when we release ourselves from making the ultimate and final decision, we are free. We don’t have the responsibility of making that sometimes-excruciating decision.

That isn’t really the end of the story, though. I still struggle periodically with what, exactly, submission means in certain situations. I’ve struggled with this for a long time, believing that The Proper Submissive Wife was one who never had her own opinion, let alone stated it. But God gave me a brain and the desire to use it. I think I’ve finally learned a few personal truths.

I’ll share those twelve truths tomorrow to wrap up this discussion of submission. Thanks for sticking with me.


P.S. A friend shared this video on Facebook yesterday. Courtney from Women Living Well is spot on! 

If you‘ve been encouraged here, why not share this post to Facebook or Twitter?
Become a follower of this blog or receive new posts by e-mail ~ just sign up at the right side of the page.

Pin It!


  1. Wise words. I struggled through Created to be His Helpmeet when I first received it. It seemed so radical! :-)
    I'm looking forward to your 12 Truths!

    1. Sometimes, it still seems radical, Stephanie! Thanks for reading, and I'm anxious to see what you agree -- and disagree -- with tomorrow.

  2. YES, Ma'am!! I just wrote about submission myself today. I touched on pretty much everything you did in this post and the last one, but I hadn't found the verse in 1 Corinthians!! That's WHY we can submit--because our husbands submit to God. Yes. So good. I kind of want to go revise my post now! :D Found you via A Wise Woman Builds her Home--and so glad I did.

    1. Your post was wonderful, Jaimie! I left a comment there. Thanks so much for your comment and your encouragement here. Hope to see you again!

  3. Thank you for this great encouragement.


I so much appreciate your time and effort in leaving a comment, and I try to respond to as many as time permits. :-)