Friday, May 25, 2012

What propels you? The desire to control? {Part Three of Three}

Dolphins seem to slip through the water without effort, propelling themselves with gentle flicks.

Yet the trainers, when pushed by the dolphins, come up from the water with intense looks and heaving lungs. It obviously takes great effort.

We’ve been talking this week about what propels us through life. Are we being pushed by forces with potentially dangerous consequences, like people-pleasing or materialism?

Are we being pushed by our desire to control others?

It is a rare woman who has not struggled to some extent with the selfishness of wanting to control others. I believe this began with the curse in Genesis 3. “Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Wives want to control husbands. After all, we know best. We know the proper way to wash the dishes, the proper way to discipline the children, the proper way to decorate the home, the proper way to spend the money, the proper way to fold the laundry.

And it’s our responsibility to make sure our husbands do it right.

Or is it? 

What if the Word of God propels us?

The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man.” (1 Corinthians 11:3)

Our adornment should be “the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (1 Peter 3:4)

What is propelling you? Do you desire to control your husband?  How do you handle it?


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  1. Excellent post! So true! Why do we always think we know a better way to do everything? We are so often controlled by pride and don't even realize it!!! Thanks for linking up!!!

    1. Pride is hard to fight. We all want to feel important and needed.

      Thanks for the link-up opportunity and the comment!

  2. I definitely struggle with this... I think the hardest thing is to balance the times when I really do know "best" with Biblical submission. Sharing my opinions in a godly way verses stuffing everything down...It's so tough. I mean, we're naturally going to have different strengths and weaknesses, I'm still figuring out how it all plays together and exactly what an ideal godly marriage (and wife) looks like. Like the other day, there was a situation where my husband and I had differing opinions. I voiced my opinion, and he still disagreed so because I'm trying to be a more godly wife, I let that be the end of it. I had voiced my opinion, he didn't agree, so that's that.

    As a result, about half the food in my fridge was ruined, which leaves me feeling doubly frustrated because it's frustrating to have food be ruined, but even more frustrating to know that I could have prevented it, but he wouldn't listen to me. I was going to email this to you privately instead of posting here but I couldn't find an email address.

    1. Thank you so much for your honest comment, Crystal. (I'm sorry you couldn't find an email address -- another thing to work on!)

    2. Meghan, I was hoping you'd have some advice :)

    3. I should have left my e-mail in the last reply, Crystal! It's

      I struggle with what, exactly, submission means as well. I'm certainly no expert! I don't think you were wrong to have an opinion. Nor were you wrong to share it. Wise husbands will value a wife's input. The problem could arise in what happens next, after everything went bad. You said that stating your opinion was the end of it, and I admire that! The tricky part for a lot of women would be not nagging or reminding him of his mistake.

      Is that helpful?

  3. I am such a type A personality. It's hard to let go of the reigns and admit to myself that other people have good ideas too. Thanks so much for linking up.


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