I am really enjoying writing these hypothetical quiz
questions for you, my terrific blog readers. And, based upon the numbers of
views and comments, you all are enjoying them as well. The one below is based
upon a comment from a youth pastor I knew years ago. As is the case for most of
these questions, I don’t have a specific “right” answer. But I’m also enjoying the
conversations we’re having about them and getting to know you all a little
better. I hope you enjoy this one, and I can’t wait to read your comments.
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| {Pinterest} |
You’re standing in the movie aisle at Wal-Mart, and The Hubs
picks up the latest release for a movie star you find quite attractive. You
pick up another copy and read the back. The plot sounds pretty good, the rating
is acceptable, and there is an actress in the movie you like as well. You turn
back to the cover. You notice that that movie star is incredibly handsome (your
subconscious mind would use the word hunky),
and you don’t hear your husband the first time he asks if you think he should
buy it. You –
- Say, “Sure,” and let your spouse buy the movie. Yeah, that star is good-looking but it’s not like you’re going to leave your spouse and drive to Hollywood to marry him.
- Tell your husband that you find that movie star quite good-looking and, when he wants to buy the movie, say nothing more. Apparently it doesn’t bother him so it shouldn’t bother you.
- Suggest to your husband that it’s not good for you to watch that movie because you find that movie star too attractive and he detracts you from your focus from your marriage.
- Say, “Yeah! That looks terrific!” You throw the movie in the cart and then watch it all next week while your husband is at work.
- Encourage your husband to buy the movie. What’s the point in this question anyway? There’s nothing wrong with just looking. You see attractive men all the time when you’re shopping or watching television or eating out or ….
What do you think? Maybe this shouldn’t even be an issue? Or
is it something you’ve thought about?
~Meghan
Oh yeah,I've thought about it. Been convicted too!
ReplyDeleteJust a glance I think is fine, but if you're consumed with thoughts of this person, then I think you know a God check. Just my humble opinion. :)
Hopped over from Far Above Rubies!
I agree that it's a problem if you're consumed with that person. Thanks for stopping by and weighing in, Alecia!
Deletei would tell your husband you think he is cute. Let it be his choice if he wants to still buy it. I think you should be careful in this area that you don't compare them with your husband. There have been times that I watched a movie and wished that mine would do that. Ouch! Careful you don't do that. But I did ask God to help me. I really don't do it much because most of them probably don't live how they act in movies. Also,you could ask your self would it bother you if your husband bought a movie because he thought the girl was pretty and was attracted to her. It goes both ways.You should talk about it together and go from there. I know I have been known for being so far out, but you have to be careful.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty, Michelle. And, if the movie is good, it's hard to remember that they are just reciting scripted lines. Most of the time, people in real life just don't talk like that. I agree completely with you about being bothered if your husband watches a movie with a pretty girl. The youth pastor who inspired this question said that he had determined that there were a few actresses he just wasn't going to watch any more because it was not honoring to his marriage. That was a long time ago and my faith was not what it is now, so that just stunned me. But now ... I would not say you are far out. Thanks!
DeleteHmmmm. This is obviously a problem I didn't know I had. I would say "sure" and then watch the movie and spend the next 2 weeks daydreaming about said actor while going to sleep at night. Tsk, tsk.
ReplyDeletePopped on over from Domestically Divine Tuesday.
Cindy @ Apron Strings and Apple Trees
Thanks for your honesty, Cindy. I'm pretty sure we've all had times like that.
DeleteHadn't given this much thought--possibly because it's pretty rare that I would find someone in Hollywood THAT attractive. Their physical appeal, if any, is tempered by the knowledge that what you see is NOT what you get with most moviestars. They've been made up, parked under the best lighting and then edited into glorious good looks.
ReplyDeleteIf I did find someone very attractive, I would probably tend to shy away from the movie. But maybe I'm a little weird. :)
Angie, you are so right that what you see is not what you get. And now, with the advent of behind-the-scenes and how-they-made-it bonus features, you can really get to know the actors. One of my favorite movies is the newest version of Pride & Prejudice, but the special features show the actresses who play the five sisters getting to know each other before filming begins. Keira Knightly is prancing around in short-waisted pants and a cropped shirt -- her entire middle section showing! It kind of ruins the whole historical fiction image! Anyway, it's interesting that you and Michelle mentioned issues of character / behavior. As women, our attraction is lessened by what kind of person he is. Thanks for sharing your opinion!
DeleteI guess number 5, but only if I am interested in the "movie" not just the actor. I don't spend much time dreaming about good looking actors. I think I might have when my marriage was more "messy" but not so much now. I choose to be happy with my own hunky hubby! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's a terrific point. The happier we are with our marriages and our own husbands, the less we are drawn to someone else. Thanks for the comment, Beth.
DeleteI don't really think that way about actors, but I also don't seem to watch movies where studly men might be walking around without a shirt, etc. ;) I would probably leave it there. It really bothers me to see my husband watching something with scantily clad babes, and I very much prefer to have everyone-male and female- COVERED up in a movie. I tend to be visual, so I remember the rotten parts of the movie. :p (violent, scary, or sensual parts) I have learned to really check a movie out before sitting down and watching it. I like them squeaky clean, so I can focus on the story and not what I would like to forget. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteIf only everything was "squeaky clean" .... Thanks for stopping by, Brooke.
DeleteThankfully, there isn't one movie star out there that captures my attention like that. However, I do try to avoid anything too "romantical" that may have me pining for something that isn't quite the same in my marriage and I certainly must avoid any sex/nudity in movies. I rarely have time to sit and watch any movies anyway, but unless hubby really wants the movie, I'd just put it back on the shelf.
ReplyDeleteI truly understand the lack of time, Kate. Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteHi Meghan, great question! I feel the "you can look, but you can't touch" to be a myth that the devil loves us to believe! Matthew 5:28 talks about how if a man looks at a woman lustfully he has already committed adultery with her in his heart. I believe Jesus would have us women say the same thing when we look at a man and say in our hearts "oh la la!" no matter how innocent it may seem. Now I also think you are probably talking more about when you notice someone is attractive- I think that can and does happen to everyone. There's a difference between noticing that someone is attractive and YOU being attracted to them and perpetuating it yourself. It's the second glance that is sinful! I would think if someone had a "crush" on a celebrity they need to not deliberately put their eyes and heart in situations where this can be made worse. It's a heart issue, no matter how far away the person is from your life. It is a distraction from your real-world relationship, even in the slightest.
ReplyDeleteNow, I didn't know I had that much to say about it! :) Thanks for listening to my answer!
Excellent thoughts, Nicole! You hit the proverbial nail on the head. "It's the second glance that is sinful." Thanks for commenting, and I'm praying for you as the Lord leads you.
DeleteMy husband and I often discuss the attractiveness of movie stars, male and female. I can find a man handsome without being ATTRACTED to him. I think so much of it has to do with MY heart. If I found that I was DRAWN to them and fantasizing about them, then I would have NOTHING to do with anything related to them.
ReplyDeleteI believe that the #1 thing I need to do is guard my HEART in my marriage. I do NOTHING that will draw my affection away from my husband, with men IRL or on the screen or in books.
However, I don't think recognizing and appreciating beauty is the same as giving my affection away.
Thanks, Kate, for weighing in!
DeleteThis is an interesting question and you've gotten some interesting comments. While I find some movie stars attractive, they seem too "fictional" to spend time thinking about them. And typically, if I find out how they behave in real life, they quickly lose their attractiveness. I'd like to see you ask how women handle an attraction to church members, non-blood family members, neighbors, etc., people you can't turn off like the TV. I'm new to your blog, so maybe you've already done that! Anyway, I think it's fun to ask a question like this and have a cyber-discussion. Good idea.
ReplyDeleteHaven't asked that one yet, Gail, but I've thought of it. Keep watching -- I'll work up a post. Thanks for commenting, and thanks for the follow!
DeleteI cannot remember the last time I ever stood in the movie section at Walmart with my husband to buy a movie...not sure I ever have. I hope not, anyway. How can we, as christians, support anything Hollywood produces? I sure don't want to be guilty of supporting something as Godless as Hollywood. Trying to find anything descent to watch is like digging through the the trash can for lunch. Also, I would rather give my time to my children than to watching some dumb movie.
ReplyDeleteWe have set aside movie-free months before (we don't have broadcast television) and really found it refreshing. It's amazing how re-sensitized you can become. I admire your conviction. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteI agree with Kate, several comments above. My husband and I will each sometimes comment on the attractiveness of actors, or even of friends, but not to the extent that we compliment each other. For example, I know that my husband finds a few of my female friends attractive, as well as a few movie stars, but I know he has no emotional draw to them in the least. We are very confident in each other's affection and very solid in our relationship to know that we'd never be unfaithful, either in our words, thoughts, or actions.
ReplyDeleteThis is not to say that we're perfect or that we never slip into temptation. It's just that watching movies isn't really an issue for us.
I don't believe it's wrong to watch some movies. I do think that a few of the ones we've seen were probably not necessary to watch. I don't like watching movies with an abundance of violence, sexuality, or foul language. It's just not God-honoring to put a lot of that into our minds. However, watching a (at least relatively!) "clean" movie for entertainment purposes is one of my husband's and my favorite activities. :)
It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage, Jaimie! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
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